Saturday, October 13, 2012

Why I Became a Beachbody Coach

It took me a long time to make this leap. 
But I finally did it!
I became a coach to help other people achieve the results that I have achieved consistently with each new program, over the course of a decade. 
If you know me, you know I'm passionate about fitness and health. 
I grew up in jazz and ballet, played little kid baseball, and ran cross country. I never considered myself athletic because I never liked sports or gym games or events without tutus or teams without bus rides with cute boys. As sixth grade Catholic schoolgirls, my friends and I attended my mom's step and circuit classes at the fitness studio in our small town, then scarfed pizza next door. I "forgot my gym clothes" most days. 
I never worried much about it. My mom made up step routines in our basement, "Funky Town" on volume ten. It wasn't my thing. I was thin. I ate whatever. 
Then my senior year, I got involved in a program that allowed me to leave campus for lunch, and my friends and I became Arby's regulars. My weight jumped from 113 to 125 pretty quickly, and I couldn't think of anything to do about it except hate myself. (Mind you, my NORMAL non-pregnancy weight is about 120, and this is why the scale DOESN'T matter--back then, I wore a size 7, and these days I wear a 2-4 at a similar weight. Muscle makes a difference!) I suppose I still wasn't overweight, but I definitely had some fluff that hadn't been there months before. The thing is, nothing I did worked. The tools I now have weren't in my universe back then. I walked and ran and starved, but none of the above did the trick. 

1. Senior Photo  2. At 20 years old.  3. On my wedding day. 

After graduation, I skipped out on my falling-apart family and moved in with my boyfriend, three hours away and back in my hometown. I started school and worked full-time, and life was good for a year--which back then equaled an eon. Late one night, I saw a commercial for Slim in 6 and I ordered it. I'd gotten SO SICK of the way I felt about my body and was desperate for something I could stick to. And it worked! The reason: Beachbody programs take the guesswork out of everything. I ate the way the program told me to, took the supplements, and worked out from a calendar. BOOM--the scale, in six weeks, read 112, and my thighs were itty-bitty. All those squats and lunges gifted me with a new and improved attitude--until "life got in the way." (I hate that phrase, by the way.) 
My dad called to say he'd been fired and my mom planned to divorce him. My sister and brother were back home, in limbo, while I played house. Emotional turmoil took over when I made some decisions I probably shouldn't have, and broke the trust of the one person who'd stood by me and held my hair back and made me feel important. Food became some blase' necessity that cigarettes could take the place of. Within months, I looked like a skeleton at 20 pounds less than the low weight I'd recently achieved. For the record, this has happened several times, and I'm not going to be ashamed anymore to admit it: I am the opposite of the stereotypical emotional eater. I am the emotional starver instead. 
Until I met my husband (and even during the time we were dating), I was a ridiculously immature and angry little girl, although I didn't see it that way. Since, I have learned to take responsibility for the numerous quagmires I dug myself into. In between bouts of bad relationships and stress-induced mono and running for my life, I went back to fitness, and always with a Beachbody program. Fitness was the good boyfriend I'd given up: reliable, something rewarding to work for, a salve and a temporary amnesiac from the world outside my window or in my mind. Unlike with writing (which was and still is my other passion), I didn't have to conduct conversations with my sick brain. I could forget, and focus on something positive. 
Life with my husband (then my fiance) settled me down. It took a while, and he dealt with me through all of my issues. When I met him, I weighed 105 and looked like a bag of bones; when we got married one year later, I'd used Turbo Fire and Slim Series to add lean muscle--I was 125 and fit into the same clothes, but looked and felt a thousand times better, and I've been on the upswing since. 
When I was 24, I got pregnant and miscarried at ten weeks. At 26, I got pregnant with my daughter Reese. In between, I worked out with Turbo Fire, Chalean Extreme, Brazil Butt Lift, P90X, Insanity, and Yoga Booty Ballet. I assumed, since I'd gotten into great shape, that pregnancy would be easy, but I had another thing coming. A neck injury and migraines kept me away from my workouts (and just about everything else) my entire first trimester. The second trimester, I exercised again and pushed myself too hard to make up for the first; and the third I resembled a flotation device because of massive water retention. I gained 43 pounds and felt miserable every second. 


1. 6 weeks postpartum  2. 11 weeks postpartum  3. 17 weeks postpartum

Of course, Reese was worth every discomfort. And I felt OKAY about the weight because this time I knew what to do. I completed a hybrid of Chalean Extreme and Turbo Fire, then Rev Abs, then P90X2, and drank Shakeology. 
The proof is in the pudding: at 17% body fat 17 weeks after giving birth, I was the absolute fittest I have ever been in my life. And not only that: I was also the happiest. My daughter gave me the ultimate reason to pursue my passions and handle my struggles in more constructive ways. Fitness, and specifically Beachbody,  saved my life and gave me a structured way to learn about fitness and health. 
In the last year, my husband and I have gotten into nutrition and health, and my library bursts with texts about clean eating. I found myself sharing what I knew with anyone who would listen, and was surprised that so many people (like me, years ago) have searched desperately for a solution to their weight or health problems and have met several dead ends. Obviously, there's no end to the amount of "quick fix" products on the market and I'd be lying if I told you I haven't purchased a few of them myself during my own low points. I GET the frustration; I get the need for guidance and support and a real answer.

Not a quick fix. Shakeology is the real deal when it comes to a nutritional power-house bang for your buck. 

I became a coach because I have BEEN THERE. 
The programs work because
they are structured and take the guesswork out of working out. Follow the calendar, drink a shake once a day if you want to amp up your nutrition, use the online support, and utilize your free coach. This is precisely why I have gotten consistent results.
The coach network is kind of a genius thing. I used to think it must be a pyramid scheme, so I took my time doing my research, and I found a team focused on personal development and truly making a difference through fitness. The coach mission is to end the trend of obesity. We coach for free and truly are in this to share what we have learned, and are learning. Because I KNOW the programs and nutritionals work, I feel 100% comfortable recommending them to other people. I believe in everything Beachbody stands for. 


My ultimate dream is to love what I do for a living, to make a difference, to be an example for my children. I never, ever, ever want my little girl to endure some of the things I have, although I can certainly say I am finding the light at the end of the tunnel by learning to channel what I love into a career choice. 
You can, too!

Please feel free to visit my Facebook page for daily fitness and wellness tips, and be sure to message me if you need guidance through fitness--or, of course, if you'd like information on how to become a coach yourself. 

It is not a "job" or a "scheme," but a LIFESTYLE--and one I'm proud to live!


Lindsey.

Mid to Late Pregnancy


25 weeks pregnant. Feeling great! Still doing Chalean Extreme, and venturing into veganism. 

26 weeks. Virtually no pregnancy cravings, no weight gain, no difficulty with my workouts, and lots of energy. Before you put a hex on me, rest assured my first pregnancy was absolutely atrocious. 


27 weeks. Not the most flattering photo, but Reese and I were lounging around. This is when my guilt about her not being my only baby kicked in. My mom says it's normal ;)




28 weeks. Really popping out! Although not NEARLY as much as I did with Reese, and NO SWELLING this time! The nurse assures me I still have time to turn into a pufferfish, but I refuse to believe her. 

29 weeks. No complaints. This little lovey keeps me way too busy to remember that I'm pregnant most of the time. 

30 weeks. The belly button (or in Reese-speak, "bully-butty") is popping out. It didn't with Reese even though I was 800 times bigger than this. I hope this little boy has the same serene personality on the OUTSIDE. 


31.5 weeks. Still going strong. Starting my Beachbody business, working full time at the newspaper, keeping up with Reese, finishing novel revisions, still taking my workout time (I need it!) and attempting to keep a semi-inhabitable home are giving me a run for my money.
Hence, the weekly photos sort of stopped. 
Weeks bled into weeks, and when people asked how far along I was I didn't even know.
I will take this as a blessing.
With Reese, I was counting every single second. (And she was still--fashionably--late.)

Family photo before Ben's 10 year high school reunion. 32-ish weeks, maybe? I don't know, it's all a blur. I wore heels without pitting edema. 


37 weeks already! Only within the last two weeks have things been getting icky, and I am sure most of it is self-induced. I've taken on a lot in the last two months, and the fatigue has officially begun. I stopped my hardcore exercise at about 35-ish weeks--because (holy hell!) I am already dilating, and unlike last time, I am NOT exactly hoping for an early baby. 

Hip pain? Check.
Pelvic pain? Check-check.
Back pain? Check.
Cramps? Check.
Headaches? Occasional check.
Contractions? Hell yes check.

Life is good. I'm thrilled to meet my baby boy and begin a new and improved life. 
It feels strange to know that when he arrives, my time at the paper will be at its end, and I will once again be a college student (at 27!). I look forward to diving headfirst into learning about business, and starting a new little career in fitness, and doing something with that damn novel. My husband is hella nervous, and rightfully so, but I have learned after too many times of NOT LISTENING to it that my GUT is always right. And that (big baby-bellied) gut is telling me that the time to live is NOW. 

Lindsey.




Saturday, October 6, 2012

Risotto Stuffed Acorn Squash


Risotto-Stuffed Acorn Squash

I found this in a "note" on my Facebook page, from 2010. I'd just gotten back from a Chicago trip with my girlfriends and had eaten this marvelous spectacle of a squash in Wicker Park. Upon my return home, I tried to recreate it but as usual came up with something entirely different.

Yesterday was our work potluck lunch (and, as it turned out, my surprise baby shower!) I made the squash and the rice the night before, and rushed home before lunch to stuff the squash and stick under the broiler with some rosemary and figs. My coworkers loved their autumnal taste, but also the presentation. Who doesn't like pretty food? For me, it's a way to exercise some artistry in my every day life. Do you feel that way? Ever since I started looking at food as an art form with nutrition as its main medium, I have enjoyed cooking more, and this recipe was the catalyst for that way of thinking. 

Here's the original note (from right after the infamous two-days-of-no-sleep and missed-the-bus-home trip, immediately after which I took a pregnancy test that marked the beginning of my Reese Marceline, and I thereby became interested in things like Food Network-style cooking and crafts because I no longer had my youthful, rebellious distractions to keep me from honing my interests in tamer things).

Lindsey.
(If you're not following me on Facebook and are interested in a healthy lifestyle and nutrition/fitness tips, click here and hit "Like." I'd love to meet you!)

by Lindsey Smith Forche on Saturday, October 9, 2010 at 8:47pm ·I combined a few recipes that I found on the Internet in an attempt to semi-recreate the fabulous stuffed squash I had at a Mexican restaurant in Chicago. In typical Lindsey fashion, I went down an entirely different road as I was cooking, and the ensuing result was nothing like the Mexican place, and nothing like the Internet recipes, but--ask my mom--it was freakin' delicious. And it smells like fall :) 

Risotto-stuffed Acorn Squash
(4 servings)

Ingredients:
2 acorn squash, about 1 pound each. 
drizzle of honey
pinch of brown sugar
a few sprinkles of nutmeg
4 sprigs of fresh rosemary
a dash of dried sage (can you tell I never measure anything?) 
salt and pepper, to taste
2 cups arborio rice
1/4 white onion, diced (I used about a 16th of an onion because I'm not a fan)
4 cups vegetable stock
1/2 cup heavy cream
about 1/2 cup GOOD aged cheddar (not the kind that comes in a bag!)

I tried to cut the acorn squash in half, because apparently it's possible. But because I don't have superhuman strength, I nuked them in the microwave for eight minutes, and was able to cut them open easily. I scooped out the icky seeds and guts, and hollowed out the insides. Then I placed a pat of butter in each, which immediately melted so I was able to pour some over the tops of the squash. I sprinkled all four squash halves with nutmeg, a tiny drizzle of honey, and a pinch of brown sugar, then stuck them in a 400* oven for about an hour. (They looked done long before they were.) Meanwhile, I prepared the filling. I thought I'd be done long before the squash was, but arborio rice is a pain in the ass--albeit a yummy one. 
First, I warmed up the stock in a separate sauce pan. In a larger pan, I sauteed the onions in about 1 tbsp. butter for about 5 minutes, then added the rice and stirred for two minutes. I added the stock in increments of one cup, each time letting the rice soak up the liquid before adding more. On my last cup of stock, I also added the heavy cream, and salt, pepper, sage, and nutmeg. This took a lifetime to cook, and once it was al dente, I added small cubes of aged-2-years sharp cheddar, and slowly stirred, then covered the pot to let the cheese melt. 
I pulled the squash out of the oven, stuffed them with rice, then put a sprig of fresh rosemary in each and returned them to the oven for five minutes. I realized the rosemary dried out easily and was about to catch my kitchen on fire, so I removed it--but it made my house smell like a pine grove autumn heaven, and did leave a detectable taste in the rice. Finally, I broiled the squash for five more minutes, until the cheese was bubbly and browning on top. 
I took it over to my parents' house when I realized it was brilliant and mind-blowingly delicious. Can you tell I'm proud of myself? I rediscovered the freakin' joy of cooking. 

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

My Recent Recipe Concoctions-early fall '12

I get asked about my food and recipes quite a bit, and I am super-flattered. I try to always eat clean and vegan and am always inventing new food ideas to give myself a sense of culinary adventure. Like I have mentioned in previous posts, this hasn't always been the case. My husband and I are moderately obsessed "foodies" and to prevent us from dropping dollars at swanky restaurants on the regular, I get creative in my kitchen!

Here are some clean, vegan recipes I posted this month on my Facebook page: www.facebook.com/lindseyforchefitnesswellness, if you happen to be interested.

SPROUT & HUMMUS SANDWICH
I make my own hummus. It isn't difficult; it requires basic ingredients and a food processor. Mine is spicy, just the way we like it at our house! The secret=Marzetti's roasted red peppers + Frontera roasted red pepper hot sauce + a pinch of cayenne and red pepper flakes. 
Ingredients:
2 slices sesame Ezekiel bread, toasted
thick smear of hummus
roasted red pepper slices
baby spinach
Daiya vegan cheddar, if desired
handful of alfalfa sprouts
julienned carrots
splash of balsamic vinegar (optional and definitely immediately before consuming)


 TRUFFLED WHOLE GRAIN PASTA WITH ARUGULA, PORTOBELLA, & STEAMED VEGETABLES
First, cook up a serving of whole grain pasta. Toss with a little extra virgin, some sea salt and pepper. 
Next, steam some mixed veggies. I used broccoli and baby carrots.
Then, preferably in cast iron, sautee sliced portobellas with a little EVOO and red pepper flakes. Let the arugula steam on top when almost done.
Toss it all together and drizzle with black truffle oil.

 STOPLIGHT SALAD
Love these colors!
Toss arugula, pineapple, peppadew peppers, sunflower seeds and raspberry balsamic vinegar in a bowl. I use Fustini's vinegar, which is local to me and life-changing. 

WHOLE WHEAT FLATBREAD WITH HUMMUS, ZATAAR, ROASTED PEPPERS AND OLIVES 
A little Mediterranean flair!
I put the flatbreads in a 350 degree oven for a minute or two, then spread with homemade hummus. 
I topped with pine nuts and zataar (this is a Mediterranean spice blend that is WELL WORTH seeking out. Hummus is not the same without this magic sprinkled on top.) 
Then I added a little oregano, roasted red peppers (Marzetti is my favorite brand) and quality green olives. 
I baked at a low temp for about 30 minutes. I also added fat free feta to the one I made for my BFF, and added a side of Alexia's sweet potato fries (baked in the toaster oven.)


TRUFFLED RICE-STUFFED ACORN SQUASH & ROASTED CAULIFLOWER
A lot of people like chips for their addictive saltiness. I love roasted cauliflower. Cut into florets, pop into an oven at 400 for about 30 minutes after drizzling with olive oil, sea salt, pepper and garlic--and...HEAVEN! 
Acorn squash is my pick of the squashes, the creme de le creme of fall. I poke holes in mine (important to not blow the microwave up!), and microwave for 5-7 minutes until pretty tender and easy to slice in half lengthwise. This makes it take much less time in the oven, and I am impatient. Scoop the seeds and guts out, and drizzle with olive oil, a little raw honey, some salt and pepper, and any autumnal spice you've got on hand, like rosemary, thyme, sage, and nutmeg (I do all of these in small amounts). Roast at 400 for about 30 minutes. I did these on my Pampered Chef stoneware with the cauliflower. Multitask! 
Cook rice according to package directions. You can make instant rice; I just make huge batches of dry brown rice so I can save a bunch in the fridge for other things throughout the week. When it's done, I added a mix of carrots, peas and corn--but feel free to improvise with what you've got. I stirred in some black truffle oil, which just makes everything taste like a 5-star meal, then stuffed it into the squash. If you like cheese, I suggest a sharp cheddar blended into the rice--a little bit goes a long way. Asparagus would also compliment this dish. Get creative and add a squirt of real lemon or some lemon zest or vegetable stock. And if you try it, let me know what worked!

Lindsey. 






Tuesday, October 2, 2012

My "Why"

"From now on, start with why." -Simon Sinek

Here's mine:

I am 27 and since the birth of my daughter and pregnancy with my son, life has begun to present me with bigger questions, like: what kind of legacy will I leave? What will I teach my children about passion and success? How will I SHOW them that living an abundant life is entirely possible, in a world where so many people claim not to have enough?

For the past three years I have worked forty hours per week as an office manager. All of my jobs and roles in life, whether I loved them or loathed them, have provided me with valuable lessons and a paycheck; but what I have learned since having children is that life is about more than a paycheck, and that once the lessons have been digested, it's time to move forward. In those three years I finished and revised a novel and refined my passion for fitness and natural nutrition, started a blog, and worked through many issues still lingering from my past. My husband and I are renovating our century-old home and would like to finish it at some point within the forseeable future. We also dream of taking our kids on once-in-a-lifetime trips. We don't long to live in a McMansion; we just want to live where we are, debt-free, so that we can give our children the experiences that will serve them throughout their lives.

My dreams: seeing my book in print, building a meaningful business, continuing my education, and most of all helping other people achieve their own versions of success. My why: my children, the health of my family, and to live the way I believe we are supposed to live--not chained to a desk keeping busy for the sake of hours logged, but efficiently and with profundity and passion and purpose.

I decided to become a Beachbody coach because I have had enormous success with their programs for almost ten years, and truly believe in the company's mission to end the trend of obesity. The coach network's focus on helping other people and on personal development just works with my own philosophies, and are what I was doing on my own anyway. Now I have an army of people with me who are doing the same for their own communities and families. What could ever be better than joining forces with a group of people who lift you higher, who believe they can use themselves to make the world healthier? Count me in.

Funny how a good workout mimics life at large--hustle and give it your all in a short period of time, concentrate on your muscle groups and how they work, visualize your results, and in a period of weeks or months, and especially years, success comes and stays.

<-----This little 80s girl believed anything was possible, and I am going to prove her RIGHT! ;)


Monday, October 1, 2012

Dream-doubting. Hit your bottom already, so you can climb.

A few months ago, my sister and I sat at my kitchen table and talked about nutritional yeast and her college mission trips and my unconfirmed decisions about what to do once baby number two arrived. I felt that I wanted to go back to school. Contrary to my earlier existence as a free spirit, I discovered in recent years a penchant for business and development. The idea of making the leap from one kid plus full time job to two kids plus full time school plus somehow contributing financially to my family was still in an embryonic stage.

Dana is eight years younger than me, but there is something about being nineteen that makes one wise. I weighed the options of staying at my locationally convenient, camraderie-filled, low-paying job. It was, after all, something safe...except it wasn't because I couldn't afford a babysitter for one child, and more frequent emergencies were bound to emerge with two. Dana said something along the lines of,"You're scrappy. You always make things work. So if you take a leap of faith, you'll make things work. And if you play it safe, you'll stay where you are." Which is in dream mode: of continuing my education, publishing my novel, starting a fitness business, changing the world. Changing the world is hard to do from a desk.

So I read and researched and made lists and had one-sided conversations with my skeptical husband who nonetheless supports my lofty goals. He knows I am a worker bee when I'm passionate about something, and that seems to be the point: living with passion. What the hell else is there? Submission is pure torture for me and I refuse to play it safe anymore for the sake of false comfort.

I put in my notice. It wasn't easy. I like my coworkers. I am used to my routin. But I LOVE my role as a mom and I love learning and I love fitness and I love writing. And I think it's bullshit to tell your kids to reach for their dreams when you've spent all your precious time taking cover from your own.

Change is scary. If it weren't, nobody would stay stuck the way most of us do. I am pledging here and now, for Ben and Reese and Declan and myself and the world, that I will live with purpose. The only chance I will ever regret is the one I didn't take.

Dana, you're right. When you just jump, you have no choice but to learn to fly.

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

September Ramble: happiness is a choice



Happiness is a choice. 

Nothing fancy today. No catchy DIY projects or bourgeois vegan recipes...just me getting my thoughts out, and sometimes that's important.

I have learned a tremendous deal about myself in the past year. Becoming a mother, maybe, does that to a woman. You stop thinking in terms of "me" and more in terms of "us." You start considering the legacy you're going to leave.

I used to be immature. I used to be insecure. I used to be the kind of girl who allowed the fear of rejection to inhibit my ability to TRY.  Like so many others, I went through a rough time in my life, a time of fear and pain and rebuilding my life and building the Great Wall of China around myself. Not many people know about that time. Then again, in past years, not many people knew ANYthing about me. I thought I liked it that way, until one day I broke down in the Sears parking lot on my cell phone, to my husband. I'd just moved for the umpteenth time, this time in with him, to a foreign little town where people used a weird thing called "two-way" and everyone was on some volunteer fire department or another and middle-aged women needed the fashion police. I broke down and broke down and broke down. Over and over. I'd managed for a considerable amount of time to hold it together, and then I just couldn't anymore.

The thing is, in the span of four years I'd fled my tumultuous homestead for my original hometown and a boyfriend I was convinced at 18 would save me from my penchant for reckless abandon, got a house with him and two dogs plus eight strays plus furniture, got myself into trouble, got another house with him in hopes we could "fix it," tried to be the mediator for my parents' divorce three hours away during my dad's job loss and my mom's immediate move into some other guy's house, battled an eating disorder, watched my dad battle cancer, quit school twice, drank too much, met a charming but ultimately abusive new boyfriend who threatened to kill me on numerous occasions and stole all my worldly possessions, left my life to move in with my mom and her new boyfriend where my ex boyfriend stalked me and half my life was spent in court or the sheriff's department, worked several horrid jobs, met another abusive boyfriend, met the third abusive boyfriend, etc. Amazing, because during that time, nothing felt so awful.

Then I moved in with my best friend, became a manager for my company, started writing the novel I'd dreamt of penning since age six, became spiritual, found a passion for health and fitness, and met my husband who is a wonderful man with a work ethic from the stars. So WHY in heaven's name did I crash and burn when things were good? I'm sure there are all kinds of psychological reasons for this kind of thing, but I think once life SLOWED DOWN I didn't know how to handle it. When things were smooth, I sabotaged them. I saw red and took it out on people who were NOT the people who caused me to see red. I was basically a little bitch. I knew no other emotion but rage. If you've never felt rage, consider yourself lucky. It's disgusting.

In the past year, I made a commitment to get happy and help people. My friend Ashley is a therapist who must have been sent from GOD to find me and make me realize all kinds of insightful and life-changing things about myself. The first time I divulged all the sordid details to her and cried, it hit me that I hadn't CRIED in who knows how long. It hit me that I wasn't angry, I was SAD. I decided to embark on this great journey to fix myself. Really, it came out of what I'd always loved doing: writing and fitness. Along the way, nutrition came into play. I got crafty. I became a mom to the sweetest thing ever. I started connecting with people again and realizing it felt like ice on a black eye instead of an invasion. I came to the conclusion that happiness is a choice. Trust me, I know many people don't see it that way, and I certainly didn't either, but THINK about it: we CHOOSE who we surround ourselves with, we CHOOSE the dreams we go after and the dreams we don't, we CHOOSE to stay in bad situations out of fear or greed, we CHOOSE to react with a chip on our shoulder, we CHOOSE to say shitty things about other people. Likewise, we CHOOSE to find the lesson in every hardship, we CHOOSE to go outside of our comfort zone, we CHOOSE to work on our personal development, we CHOOSE to give a compliment or a donation or an offer of assistance, we CHOOSE to live our lives with grace despite our fear of the unknown.

I want to be the kind of woman my daughter is proud of. I want her to grow up knowing that everything is possible with kindness and good karma and hustle and love. I want to be healthy and make choices that are based on providing myself and my family with a life comprised primarily of joy. I CHOOSE to wake up grateful for a day many people don't get to have.

I was sparked to write this because I noticed something recently: the more self-assured I become, the more people come out of the woodwork to tear me apart. More people tell me, "Oh, but it's just easy for you. It's not that way for ME." And it came to me that I used to be THAT PERSON. Maybe not out loud. But in my head, I told myself I just wasn't good enough to be as fit or as rich or as happy as so-and-so. And it felt better to be mean.

Au contraire, I have also met so many INCREDIBLY supportive people who have found their own contentedness or passion and are very happy to pass on the bug to everyone they meet, including me. I have chosen to spend more time with THESE people, and less time with the vampires. And to all you sweet and passionate and caring people, thank you--not just from me, but from ALL of the people who you inspire and don't even know you're inspiring.

I don't look down on mean people. I understand their sadness. And I want to help them ditch the excuses and move past the enormity of their pain and realize they DESERVE to live a life bursting with incredible revelations.

Nobody can make that choice but you.

"I'm so full of confetti I could give birth to paper dolls." 
-Zelda Fitzgerald